Just Another One

I was really drunk and so were you. We kissed like crazy and when I am drunk it is hard to control me. We went back to your place, I knew what was going to happen. I wanted it to happen. I knew going into it that I was just another one. Another girl you were taking back to your bed. I don’t remember everything from that night but I do remember the feel of you, the confidence I had when we were doing things together. I had never had sex with anyone and you were my first. It was great. I have never felt so alive, so happy. Not only did we have sex but we talked, about life, our futures and I don’t even remember what else. Eventually we went to bed. I was near the wall and your back was facing me but I pressed myself into you. I pressed my face into your back and draped my arm over you holding you closer. I didn’t want this night to go away because in the morning I knew awkward me, the shy girl was going to come back. You moved your hand so that you were holding mine and you stroked my hand. I smiled like crazy. I never had that before. You moved your feet closer to mine and we tangled our legs together. We held each other the whole night. I had never felt that complete in my life. I remember in the morning, being on the verge of waking up, you stroking my arm, holding my hand and entangling our feet even more.

Once we started waking up more I could feel us starting to drift apart. We were starting to pretend like that night had not just happened. I tried pulling you back in, trying to cuddle with you but I didn’t want to seem clingy. In the morning, we watched TV and talked about random things. I was a hot mess. My hair was gross and my clothes from that night were filthy. You wouldn’t even look at me in the morning. It made me sad because you said I was pretty and you loved my eyes.

Eventually, you drove me back to my apartment and we still talked about things, I didn’t want to talk too much because I was really afraid I was going to puke from all alcohol I had. I really liked talking to you though. Once you were dropping me off, I didn’t know what to do. I don’t even think I looked at you. I said, “Okay, thanks, see you later.” and got out of the car. I didn’t even look back. I didn’t know what to do. Awkward, shy girl was back. I don’t even have your number. Even though I was drunk and don’t remember everything from that night I remember some things. And those some things make me smile but then I get sad when I realized I haven’t talk to you since and remind myself that I was just another girl you took back to your bed.

Submitted by Sam, who wishes to remain anonymous.