Maybe you were just drunk last night. Maybe we...

Maybe you were just drunk last night. Maybe we never should have started smoking together. Maybe seeing your face just doesn’t make my eyes crinkle into an irrepressible smile anymore. But as I sat there- half way sober- unable to sleep; and you shoved yourself against me I couldn’t stop myself from becoming increasingly annoyed. Your beer breath. That abominable clicking sound your teeth were making. The scratchiness of your unwashed hair pressed against my neck. I was exhausted, cold, unable to close my eyes, and I let myself hate you.

I want to be held by big strong arms when I can’t hold myself up, which happens sometimes. But with you, it’s all the time. And my arms aren’t strong enough for the both of us. Because I don’t love you anymore. I think you can sense it, but every time you ask me about it, about why I’m pushing you away, it just drives me further and further down that path.

I couln’t bring myself to kiss you last night. Even when you asked me too.

I stayed till nine thirty the next morning and had cheerios waiting for you to come out of your stupor.

But my feet were sore from partying in too-tight boots, and I still had make up on from the night before. I was tired, and fed up. I couldn’t bring myself to wake you. I didn’t want you to ask me to stay.

Some love just falls apart. We were never meant to be I think. I don’t remember when things were good. Were they ever? Looking back I can only see all the times that you hurt me, made me cry, fucked me over. At some point the past became stained so dark I couldn’t see any of the light.

So I left.

submitted by cameroncorbett.